What Does It Mean To Really Be Supportive?: ‘Support’ is a word that gets thrown around a lot, but what does it actually mean?
What Does It Mean To Really Be Supportive?
We typically picture someone who has a profound understanding of us, cares about our problems, and is generally enjoyable to be around when we think of our ideal partner, best friend, or husband someone with whom we are destined to have a special connection. We see a person that can make us laugh, always asks the appropriate questions, and pushes us to grow. Someone supportive is what we picture.
‘Support’ is a word that comes to mind rather immediately whenever we consider a good, healthy relationship, whether it be romantic. We’ve been raised to believe that being helpful is essential to being a good girlfriend, friend, sister, daughter, or wife.
But just because we hear about something a lot doesn’t imply we fully comprehend what it means, as is the case with many things. What then does it mean to be supportive? whether in a romantic relationship or a friendship? What does it look like, in totally practical terms?
You Show Up
Starting with the bare necessities, being supportive is being there, invested, attentive, and aware of our boyfriends’ lives. husband We are aware of their struggles, their accomplishments, their recent thoughts, and their hopes. We fully comprehend the context in which they operate.
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However, our presence goes beyond only being aware of their daily activities. In the actual times, we spend with them, we are also present. This involves putting our phones away, keeping eye contact, asking questions, recalling and bringing up any pertinent subjects that have been covered in previous talks with them, and so on. In order to feel supported, the other person must first feel valued, heard, respected, and known.
You Care About Who They Are, Not Who You Want Them To Be
We always want the people we care about to perform at their highest level. Whether it be in their emotional, mental, professional, or physical well-being, we want them to find it. We want them to become everything they can be because we can see it. This is a crucial component of showing someone you care. But it’s crucial that we support people for who they really are, not just for what we think they should be.
We always want the people we care about to perform at their highest level.
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It can be difficult to distinguish between urging someone to be their best selves and trying to change who they are. When we try to challenge someone, we must consider their personality, nature, gifts, desires, and temperament in order to be truly supportive.
You Build Them Up While Remaining Honest
Being someone’s positive voice they can always turn to when they need to feel better about life and themselves, or when they need a safe space in which to vent and be completely unfiltered, is one aspect of being supportive. This includes encouraging them in their endeavors, supporting them, and boosting their confidence.
Being honest with them is another important aspect, especially when it would be simpler to avoid a problem. Perhaps the toxic, nasty guy our friend is dating is someone she is allowing to treat her badly. Maybe our boyfriend is developing bad habits and drinking excessively and frequently. Perhaps the argument our best buddy had with a coworker was unwarranted. Perhaps our husband is lying to himself about how His eating habits have gotten worse. Whatever the circumstance, this means that we must call their attention to their damaging or immature behavior instead of enabling or ignoring it if we want to really support them.
However, it’s not only about pressuring them to improve. They will experience less support and more criticism if all we ever do is point out what we believe they are doing “wrong.” It’s crucial that we provide any suggestions we may have for them in addition to focusing on what should be altered or improved upon in order to be of assistance in our support. By doing this, we can still be open and honest with them while also giving them the impression that we are on their side.
You’re Genuinely Glad for Them When They Succeed
It’s normal to sense some rivalry with our nearest and dearest. We could experience a pang of jealousy when a friend gets engaged and wonder, When will it happen for me? We could feel bad about ourselves if our husband receives a promotion since we don’t receive the same attention at work. It makes sense that we would battle to keep from feeling horrible about who we are and what we don’t yet have.
Our happiness for them and our longing for something positive in our own lives can coexist—and should.
But even if what they just received is something we want for ourselves, in order to be genuinely supportive of someone, we must be delighted for their success and pleasure. Our delight in them and our need for Something positive in our own lives are possible and desirable.
You’re There in the Good Times and the Bad
When someone is riding a good wave, it’s the greatest fun to encourage them. Someone who is doing well already and probably isn’t relying on us for much emotional assistance right now is easier to support. While participating in someone else’s celebration is a valuable skill to have, it is only the beginning of showing support.
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The truth is that being there for our friends, girlfriends, and spouses at their darkest moments is crucial to being a supportive person. This entails not avoiding their calls or texts, but rather returning them when we can, being prepared to hear them sob or vent, genuinely sympathizing with what they’re going through, and sitting in their shoes. Anger, disappointment, or grief with them. Even though it may feel awkward right now, they will remember that you stood by them even if you had the option to go.
Final Thoughts
We all know that we should be helpful, but sometimes we are unsure of how to do so in a meaningful way. Making your buddy, lover, or husband feel like you’re their cheerleader while holding them to a standard, always demonstrating empathy and understanding, and being prepared to congratulate them whenever possible are the most crucial things you can do.
