How Complacency Kill Relationship
Every relationship has an initial phase where things are joyous, after which things start going downhill. We’ve heard millions of quotes and stories on social media that have time and again proved that relationships might actually last much longer if people put the same amount of effort into sustaining a relationship, as they did when they started it. Whether it’s the dates we skip or the phone calls we miss, they all build up in one corner and as we see more of them, we start thinking this is the way things should be. However, we fail to recognize what this downside really is.
Remember that scene in the Bollywood movie Chalte Chalte, when Rani Mukerji reminds Shah Rukh Khan about how he followed her to Greece in order to woo her? The actor replies that that was before they were married. This particular conversation summarises how complacency seeps into a relationship. Let’s take a look at how complacency kills your relationship.
Your partner feels worthless
Relationships are not always about greetings, boxes of chocolates, and roses but ignoring these all the time can leave your partner feeling neglected, unloved, and undervalued. It is commonly observed that couples become too content in their relationships, which leads to boredom and taking their partners for granted. It only gets worse if one of the partners suffers from low self-esteem which further aggravates the relationship.
Routine sets in and kills the spark
Partners who once were madly in love have somewhat fallen into the trap of routine. Yes, gradually the conversation, gateways, and rendezvous are all carried out but without any feeling. Marital complacency is subtle but its effects are agonizingly disastrous in the breaking of a relationship. Thanks to mundane life, two souls feel like roommates rather than spouses.
There’s a gap between surface emotions and how you really feel.
You seem to be doing everything right in your relationship. The pictures of you and your partner vacationing are the epitome of what a perfect relationship should look like. But deep down you feel trapped, the loneliness is killing you inside and no one seems to see or understand the same. Worst, you just cannot explain what is wrong in this hunky-dory relationship.
There’s a lack of trust that develops between partners
Your partner is not your confidante anymore. While one of the two of you does not acknowledge there is anything wrong in their relationship, the other person slowly drifts apart sensing boredom. He or she does not wish to trust or open up to their partner who now holds no importance in their life but is a mere responsibility.
The passion gives way to boredom
No matter what relationship you are in – friends with benefits or a long-term commitment, if the passion goes for a toss, you both are in for a loss. On a serious note, two people who get together only for physical intimacy tend to lose interest if there is nothing more to add to it. The same is the case in long-term relationships where intimacy fades, leaving a dull and unfulfilling relationship hanging in between.
What’s actually complacency is mistaken for comfort
A lot of people confuse comfort and complacency. While the former is the ease and the serenity one shares with their partner in a relationship, the latter is the lack of it. Being comfortable means you’re both fine with each other’s behaviour and hold no hidden desire or unrealistic expectations. But with complacency, you are fine with each other on the face but deep down are not happy. Neither of you makes an effort to talk it out, which in turn hurts the relationship.
The fights become more common than the peace
While you may argue that every relationship has fights, when the number of fights is much more than the happy and calm moments, you know something is wrong. The frustration of one partner and the indifference of the other often leads to many unnecessary fights which add to the downfall of any relationship.
You may either fix the relationship or move past it and reach your own potential for happiness by simply being aware of and understanding these fundamental aspects. It is crucial to keep in mind to pay attention to these minute cues that we frequently overlook for either of the two possibilities.